"Focusing Details"
Detail Writing Technique
What is the Strategy?
At first, you couldn't see any details in the image, but after focusing, the specific details on the snowflakes become clearer. The "focusing details" technique is similar. When you write, if you describe something in a vague way, the readers can't form a clear picture of what you are describing in their minds. Once you provide lots of specific information in your descriptions, readers can form a clear picture in their minds.
A Story...
While waiting in line for a job interview, a man and a woman begin chatting. The man asks, "what position are you trying to get?"
The woman responds, "I want the marketing position. What about you?"
The man responds, "I want to be a sales rep."
They look out the window and admire the New York city skyline.
The man asks, "where do you currently work?"
The woman responds, "at Johnson & Co. In the that tall building over there."
The man looks out the window, and sees many, many tall buildings. His eyes scan from building to building curiously.
The woman responds, "I want the marketing position. What about you?"
The man responds, "I want to be a sales rep."
They look out the window and admire the New York city skyline.
The man asks, "where do you currently work?"
The woman responds, "at Johnson & Co. In the that tall building over there."
The man looks out the window, and sees many, many tall buildings. His eyes scan from building to building curiously.
The woman's answer was vague, so the man says, "I can't tell which building you're talking about. Can you be more specific?"
The woman says, "it's the old one over there. It was built in the 1930s, so the style is a bit old-fashioned."
"Hm. I'm still not sure which one it is," the man says.
"It's the one in the distance - it's not the tallest but still taller than many of the buildings next to it. It's built out of light tan colored bricks and has large windows in the center with smaller windows on the side. It has a green triangle-shaped rooftop with little black vertical windows around the highest level of the tower. There's a newer, dark-brown skyscraper next to it."
The man looked out the window, and he could now see the building she was talking about.
The woman says, "it's the old one over there. It was built in the 1930s, so the style is a bit old-fashioned."
"Hm. I'm still not sure which one it is," the man says.
"It's the one in the distance - it's not the tallest but still taller than many of the buildings next to it. It's built out of light tan colored bricks and has large windows in the center with smaller windows on the side. It has a green triangle-shaped rooftop with little black vertical windows around the highest level of the tower. There's a newer, dark-brown skyscraper next to it."
The man looked out the window, and he could now see the building she was talking about.
In-Class Practice:
Metaphorically speaking, I want you to "focus your lens" to look at the details you selected. Imagine you are looking at those details more closely than before. What do you notice now that you did not notice before? To "focus your lens" in writing, I want you to ask questions about the details you wrote. Asking questions is like turing the focus wheel on your camera, allowing you make the details you selected sharper and clearer.
- What shape are the windows? How many windows are there? What can you see outside the window? Is the glass clear? What kind of light is coming through the windows? How are the windows covered or decorated? What are the window blinds made of? ...
- What do the students look like? How old are the students? What are their names? What is their behavior like? What are they whispering about? Are they doing anything else while they whisper? What expressions are on their faces? What does the whispering sound like? ...
Give the questions you wrote back to your partner. Once you get your details and questions back, rewrite two NEW details that are more specific. This time, try to include the answer to one (or more) of the questions in your detail. For Example:
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When you write, generate questions about your own writing. The more questions you generate about your writing, the more specific details you will be able to add to your story.
Assignment:
- Open the google doc you created in the warm up today.
- Choose a detail that could be more specific. Highlight that sentence.
- Below your paragraph, write as many questions as you can think of for that detail (at least six!)
- Below your questions, re-write your detail so that it includes the answers to at least two of the questions you wrote.
- Share your google document with Ms. G when you are done.
Example: